Wednesday, September 19, 2012

My name is Krystal, and I am a saltine.

Fun things, that probably border on psychosis;  

Every so often, I am fortunate enough to go thru a phase (obviously related to being mentally ill) in which I become absolutely convinced that everyone I know is upset with me in some form.  

Like right now.  If you are reading this, yes, you, I have convinced myself that you are angry with me.  And it's freaking me out.  

I know it's probably not true.  There is a very rational part of my brain, albeit a small one, that maintains an inkling of sanity during all of my weird "episodes," and works to quiet the raging nonsense that happens in every other part of my brain.  

"Knock it off, will ya?  It's arrogant to assume that you have so much power over everyone's thoughts, that you feel you have the right to assume they're *all* upset with you.  And if they were, don't you think they'd just tell you?  Get your head out of your ass, and start functioning like a normal adult."  

Meanwhile, in Crazy Town...

"Did you hear what he said to you?  There was a tone.  A very distinct tone, that said 'fuck, you're annoying.  Leave me alone.'  He hates you.  Which means his wife probably hates you, too.  And their kids.  Come to think of it, so do your kids.  And probably your husband.  And while we're on a roll, all of your friends hate you, too.  Good god, how could anyone possibly alienate people with the speed and efficiency that you do?  And while we're on the subject, I hate you, too..."  

I'm not schizophrenic.  At least, I'm not diagnosed as such.  And I feel like I have had enough therapy and medical intervention in my 34 years, that something like that would have been exposed long before now.  

But, fuck.  Does everyone feel this way, or am I just a few crackers short of...well...something with crackers.  Or am I just plain fucking crackers?  
Goddammit.  I don't even like crackers.

Stupid brain.    

1 comment:

  1. Welcome to Crazy Town Ill be you guide.
    Here in Crazy We love you need you hate you leave us alone! but don't go to far.
    And If No One has told You They LOVE YOU today!
    Let me be the first.:)